Grandpa Wizner

One of the most colorful members of my family is My Grandpa(Great Grandfather) Wizner. Grandpa was my paternal Great Grandfather, my Grandmother's dad. I can remember listening to family stories of him when I was a little girl. It used to amaze me that all these stories were about one man!

I don't remember when he was born; I do remember he always seemed old to me! That didn't mask the fact that he was extremely ornery.

William Wizner was the kind of man who was not easy to figure out.

One would probably know if they were on his "bad side" but it was likely you otherwise didn't know where you stood.

He loved jokes, especially practical jokes,but only as long as he wasn't the object of the joke.

He was sneaky,and very clever. I remember once going to see him in the hospital. He loved to smoke. He really liked my mom,and I think he figured since my mom liked him in return,she would do his bidding.

I remember he begged my mom for some cigarettes. He wanted her to sneak them up to his room. I think in those days, smoking was allowed in some areas of the hospital, but the doctor had told Grandpa no smoking! He was a chain smoker,and the Dr.had told him he needed to quit or he would likely die. As far as Grandpa cared, he had been smoking his entire adult life(or longer) and hadn't died yet. He got his wish,mom felt sorry for him and brought him some cigarettes. I don't know how things turned out after that. I remember thinking my mom was going to be in big trouble! I remember questioning her,and she told me that he had been smoking for so long that a few more cigarettes wouldn't hurt him, it was better than making him miserable.

Grandpa wasn't a big man. He stood about 5'8'and was rather stoop shouldered. He was rather thin,weighing about one hundred forty eight pounds. He wasn't especially handsome. He had a big nose(some would say it rivals Jimmy Durante's)a wide toothless smile,and looked quite a bit like Will Rogers, SR. As a matter of fact; Grandpa almost got to play Will Rogers in a movie about Roger's life! If I remember right; it ended up that Will Rogers Jr. played his father instead of Grandpa.

Grandpa also had a temper. It didn't take much to make him mad. When that happened, he stayed angry for some time. My Grandma told me that she and her brothers(there were 3 boys and one girl)had certain chores to be done every day when they were young. One day, she and her brother, Ken were working in their garden. They began to throw tomatoes at each other. They were having so much fun that they didn't see Grandpa coming up out of the basement just a few feet away. Uncle Ken took aim and threw a tomato intending to hit Grandma. Fortunately for Grandma(and Unfortunately for Uncle Ken) she ducked. The tomato missed it's intended target, and Grandpa caught a rotten one in the face!

Grandpa began hurling a string of profanity and threatened to skin alive the responsible party. Grandma and Uncle Ken decided they had better stay out of sight for a while and decided to hide in the garden until they felt it was safe to come out. I don't know if Grandpa ever found out who it was. I suspect he did, but never followed through on his threat.

Grandpa was also greedy(perhaps miserly might work better) and would do nearly anything to save some money. One day, he told my Grandmother(I believe she said she was about 5 at the time.) to take the milk cows (except one)out to the woods behind the house and tie them up. She did as she was told, but wondered why did Grandpa want her take them to the woods, of all places! She didn't dare ask questions, she knew better than to question her father!

When she returned to the house, she saw him talking to a strange man. She walked over and quietly stood beside Grandpa. When the man asked if the one milk cow was all they had; Grandma piped up before Grandpa could say anything and said"No Sir!" "There are more in the woods!" Realizing she had said something wrong, my grandmother ran into the house and told her mother what had just taken place,perhaps she figured there would be some relative safety if she told her mother before her Dad could!

I guess I can't blame Grandpa for trying to avoid the tax man!

When Grandpa returned to the house, he calmly took Grandma aside explained that she shouldn't have said anything about the cows, the strange man was from the income tax service!

I think I remember Grandma telling me that she was really surprised that Great Grandpa was that calm. I am sure she expected otherwise!

Grandpa wasn't all bad. He meant well much of the time, but it seemed to get lost in translation.Grandpa was full of surprises!

Even those who thought they knew him best found him to be full of surprises.

Frequently,he would bring home poor man he found wandering in the woods or along the side of the road. I guess he figured that he could share what they had.

My Grandmother told me that these men would stay anywhere from just a few hours, to months at a time.

One man in particular stayed so long, that Grandma Wizner finally told him either he could help with the chores, or leave. The man decided he would rather not work, so he left, never to be seen again!

Grandpa Wizner was quite remarkable. He never seemed to run out of energy,or ways to con people in order to get his way.

Even though he was ornery, he had a sort of endearing quality about him that one couldn't help but like or love him, especially his wife,Great Grandma Myrtle(yes, that was her name!)

He was always playing mean tricks on her. Once, he poured ketchup all over his shirt,and came stumbling out of the kitchen yelling; "I'm hurt, Myrtle, I'm hurt!" (That one was especially bad, because they were getting along in age and Grandma Wizner had heart problems. ) He dropped onto the floor, pretending to be unconscious! I don't remember hearing whether Grandma Myrtle fell for it or not. I suspect she probably knew him well enough to know he was trying to fool her!

Another story that comes to mind is one when he and Grandma Wizner were in a convalescent home. Neither was able to take care of themselves, so my Grandmother was the one responsible for their social security checks, etc, as she was the closest living relative. Grandpa became convinced that my Grandmother was stealing from him,and that she wasn't giving him his money.(This of course, was not true, My Grandma Dorothy was a very devoted daughter, and she and my Grandpa did not need Great-Grandpa's money.) He turned Grandma into the authorities , despite the nursing home staff trying to convince him that his money was indeed safe,and his daughter was not stealing from him. Thankfully, the allegations were found to be false, and that ended that, at least where the stealing theory was concerned!

He didn't let that end his ornery streak, though. Another time, he was wheeling down the hall in the convalescent home,and spotted money sitting on the counter at the nurse's station. He casually rolled up, grabbed the money,and took off down the hall, with nurses in hot pursuit!

I am not sure if Grandpa thought he might actually succeed with taking the money,or if it was just to get a rise out of the nurses. If he was trying for the latter, it was a success!

Grandpa is dead now, but I remember him very clearly,and I still think he is probably the most interesting person I have ever known!