Lately, I have been really struggling with some things. For one; we tithe faithfully nearly every payday. That isn't a gripe. However; we still struggle to make ends meet.
On top of that, Dick has had a route for the last six months that doesn't allow for much overtime.
That makes it really hard to stay on top of things. One week, his check for two weeks was 1100.00. Our mortgage is 1199.00. Add utilities, food(what food? Grocery shopping? really? what's that?)
you get the idea.
I see so many people who don't serve God, don't pay taxes, and definitely don't tithe and they have oodles of money to do things. WE didn't even get to go camping this summer!
I am tired of seeing posts on facebook about "Going to eat here" or "In San Diego" or even a movie,and we can't do much of anything. I am tired of trying to figure out which bill I can pay,and how am I going to get the shoes I so desperately need? I am tired of struggling,and tired (frankly) of trying to be faithful,and we just can't catch a break. I am so done. Stick a fork in me.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Finding Daddy in God
A week or so ago, I was scrolling through my ipod looking for something to listen to. I saw the name "Jennifer Miller" curious, I decided to give it a go.
Before I go further, let me set this up. I grew up in a two parent family, (for the most part, they separated several times and nearly divorced once) my dad is the kind of person that if you ask for something, and he gives it to you, there are strings attached, or he wants a lot of information; what is it for, don't give it to the church, etc. So, asking for anything from my dad is something I absolutely loathe doing.
Jennifer's story is that her family seemed happy enough, and they all loved the Lord until her dad left when she was 7. That pretty much left them with no income. When her dad lived with them, she could go to her dad whenever she needed something.
When he left, her mother told the children that God was their daddy,and if they needed something, they should ask their daddy. They did,and time and time again, he came through. In an amazing way. The family's faith was amazing.
It's easy for me to say to someone else that God is their daddy, and he will provide all your needs, but for whatever reason, although I know he loves me, it's been hard for me to think of him as MY daddy.
After listening to Jennifer Miller, I laid in bed that night thinking about what she said,and her testimony.
With a daughter getting married, it's really tight here. We are doing a wedding on a ridiculously small budget, less than 3,000.00 .
No one has offered help with money,but we have had offers of decorating items that will save us plenty and one friend offered a chocolate fountain and fruit to go with it ,as her gift to Hannah!
One thing Hannah and her fiancee thought would be helpful is if family wanted to, would they pitch in on the photographer.
I asked my dad,and opened a can of worms. "I never thought that would be a wedding gift I would want to give my grand daughter" "What do you mean, transportation?" "Isn't there a photographer in town who can do the pictures?"(Not for the price she is doing it for) " Does she have experience?" "Why isn't Hannah asking me this?" Those are really questions that he asked me. I cried.
That is exactly why I didn't want to ask,but did anyway, and wished I hadn't, as is the usual result. Ugh.
Wonder if I will ever learn.
Back to God, I laid in bed that night and thought about how 450.00 would be awesome right now. I decided to give God a try, asking him as daddy, not just God.
Oh boy. I thought I was going to just be able to do it without a problem. Not so. I began praying (out loud) "God..." I felt the impression "I am your DADDY" I tried again "God..." ugh. I should be able to do this! I am a grown woman for goodness sake!
"I am your DADDY ask me as your daddy" Okay, here goes. I literally closed my eyes, squinted them shut, really, and decided I was going to do it. "Daddy, I need $450.00" (only if I typed the way I said it , it would be "DaddyIneed450.00" I laid there for a second, waiting, with my eyes still squinted shut.
Nothing. By that I mean, I didn't get the usual 3rd degree that I do with my biological father.
"Hmmm..." I thought. "That wasn't so bad" I don't know if he will give me $450.00 but I just know that I didn't get the barrage of questions that I do with my biological dad.
Don't get the impression that I don't love my dad, I do. He is my dad,but I also know him,and I know how it is every time I ask for something. I get the 3rd degree, or there are strings attached. When my mom died, he had us go through the house and my mom's clothes only a few days after we buried mom. As we were going through the house, he would say things like "This is MINE. ,and that is so and so's" or "I bought that bedroom set for your mom" The day we had the funeral, we got back to my Grandma's house,and he had my sisters and I go through mom's jewelry. Every time I would say there was something I wanted, my sister would say she wanted it. Finally, we came to a ring and earring set made of coral that mom got in Hawaii. I wanted it. I practically had to beg my dad for it. It was basically the only thing I got out of all my mom' s jewelry. I had to tell my dad how much it meant to me,how badly I wanted it,and I didn't care if I got anything else(Mom had some pretty pieces of jewelry) just the ring and earrings. I got it, but at a price. That's how it is with my dad.
That night though, when I asked my daddy God, I didn't get the barrage of questions.I didn't get the strings that always come with, or the feeling of guilt for asking. And feeling like a beggar.
I don't know if that is how dad intends to be, but it's how he is. He's not a bad guy, he is careful with his money,and I get that. I try to be careful with ours as well. But we struggle,and trying to do this wedding on a super tight, practically impossible budget is daunting.
Now though, even if I don't get the 450.00, I know that I can go to my daddy God,with my needs and wants,and I won' t have to feel like I am on trial! I think I can call him daddy, at least much easier than before!
Before I go further, let me set this up. I grew up in a two parent family, (for the most part, they separated several times and nearly divorced once) my dad is the kind of person that if you ask for something, and he gives it to you, there are strings attached, or he wants a lot of information; what is it for, don't give it to the church, etc. So, asking for anything from my dad is something I absolutely loathe doing.
Jennifer's story is that her family seemed happy enough, and they all loved the Lord until her dad left when she was 7. That pretty much left them with no income. When her dad lived with them, she could go to her dad whenever she needed something.
When he left, her mother told the children that God was their daddy,and if they needed something, they should ask their daddy. They did,and time and time again, he came through. In an amazing way. The family's faith was amazing.
It's easy for me to say to someone else that God is their daddy, and he will provide all your needs, but for whatever reason, although I know he loves me, it's been hard for me to think of him as MY daddy.
After listening to Jennifer Miller, I laid in bed that night thinking about what she said,and her testimony.
With a daughter getting married, it's really tight here. We are doing a wedding on a ridiculously small budget, less than 3,000.00 .
No one has offered help with money,but we have had offers of decorating items that will save us plenty and one friend offered a chocolate fountain and fruit to go with it ,as her gift to Hannah!
One thing Hannah and her fiancee thought would be helpful is if family wanted to, would they pitch in on the photographer.
I asked my dad,and opened a can of worms. "I never thought that would be a wedding gift I would want to give my grand daughter" "What do you mean, transportation?" "Isn't there a photographer in town who can do the pictures?"(Not for the price she is doing it for) " Does she have experience?" "Why isn't Hannah asking me this?" Those are really questions that he asked me. I cried.
That is exactly why I didn't want to ask,but did anyway, and wished I hadn't, as is the usual result. Ugh.
Wonder if I will ever learn.
Back to God, I laid in bed that night and thought about how 450.00 would be awesome right now. I decided to give God a try, asking him as daddy, not just God.
Oh boy. I thought I was going to just be able to do it without a problem. Not so. I began praying (out loud) "God..." I felt the impression "I am your DADDY" I tried again "God..." ugh. I should be able to do this! I am a grown woman for goodness sake!
"I am your DADDY ask me as your daddy" Okay, here goes. I literally closed my eyes, squinted them shut, really, and decided I was going to do it. "Daddy, I need $450.00" (only if I typed the way I said it , it would be "DaddyIneed450.00" I laid there for a second, waiting, with my eyes still squinted shut.
Nothing. By that I mean, I didn't get the usual 3rd degree that I do with my biological father.
"Hmmm..." I thought. "That wasn't so bad" I don't know if he will give me $450.00 but I just know that I didn't get the barrage of questions that I do with my biological dad.
Don't get the impression that I don't love my dad, I do. He is my dad,but I also know him,and I know how it is every time I ask for something. I get the 3rd degree, or there are strings attached. When my mom died, he had us go through the house and my mom's clothes only a few days after we buried mom. As we were going through the house, he would say things like "This is MINE. ,and that is so and so's" or "I bought that bedroom set for your mom" The day we had the funeral, we got back to my Grandma's house,and he had my sisters and I go through mom's jewelry. Every time I would say there was something I wanted, my sister would say she wanted it. Finally, we came to a ring and earring set made of coral that mom got in Hawaii. I wanted it. I practically had to beg my dad for it. It was basically the only thing I got out of all my mom' s jewelry. I had to tell my dad how much it meant to me,how badly I wanted it,and I didn't care if I got anything else(Mom had some pretty pieces of jewelry) just the ring and earrings. I got it, but at a price. That's how it is with my dad.
That night though, when I asked my daddy God, I didn't get the barrage of questions.I didn't get the strings that always come with, or the feeling of guilt for asking. And feeling like a beggar.
I don't know if that is how dad intends to be, but it's how he is. He's not a bad guy, he is careful with his money,and I get that. I try to be careful with ours as well. But we struggle,and trying to do this wedding on a super tight, practically impossible budget is daunting.
Now though, even if I don't get the 450.00, I know that I can go to my daddy God,with my needs and wants,and I won' t have to feel like I am on trial! I think I can call him daddy, at least much easier than before!
Monday, January 24, 2011
When You Least Expect It!
Wow. Can't believe it's been nearly a year since I last blogged. Well, since I blogged on this one. I have another blog, but it is for only a few peeps right now. I may make it more public one day, when the journey is done.
Anyhow, I wanted to blog about a way that God used me Saturday night. JoAnn McFatter was at church, doing worship. I was pretty down, it had been a rough week.During worship, my friend Sheila was going full speed as usual. Suddenly, I saw her arcing backwards, and I knew she was going to end up on the floor. Sure enough, she ended up on the floor, very pretzel like. Feet under the knees, on her elbows, panting. I looked at her,and put my hand on her. "More Jesus, More"I said. (Not for my benefit) Then I had a picture of a cloud blowing wind. Just like in the old cartoons, when the cartoonist would depict the wind, with a drawing of a cloud, with big cheeks, puckered lips,and lines to represent the air being blown out. I stood for a few seconds,and kept seeing the picture in my minds eye. Thinking maybe I was supposed to say something to Sheila about it, I knelt down and told her. A few minutes later,when she was able, she got up and told me I had hit it on the head.
Sheila said she didn't fall down herself (I knew that) but that she felt air being blown into her!
Wow. I just stood there, I am sure mouth hanging open! Then, we got confirmation right after that. JoAnn said something about the breath of God. Then, shortly after that, yet another confirmation.I was just amazed. I hadn't gotten up from the floor yet,and after Sheila telling me I couldn't get up for a few minutes! I just laughed, thinking how I came in so discouraged,and worn out, and God used me to encourage someone else, leaving ME feeling more encouraged as well!
The whole vision thing is fairly new to me, so I am not always sure if I am seeing what I think I am. This I think is the first time that I have received confirmation!
Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to be blessed and encouraged in a way that was totally not about me! I try not to be selfish and self centered. Sometimes, with the stuff that has been going on, it's hard to see beyond this household. I am so happy that I was able to get outside of that,and do something that encouraged someone else in such a big way!
Help me to stay humble, God. I don't want it to be "Me me me" I really don't!
Anyhow, I wanted to blog about a way that God used me Saturday night. JoAnn McFatter was at church, doing worship. I was pretty down, it had been a rough week.During worship, my friend Sheila was going full speed as usual. Suddenly, I saw her arcing backwards, and I knew she was going to end up on the floor. Sure enough, she ended up on the floor, very pretzel like. Feet under the knees, on her elbows, panting. I looked at her,and put my hand on her. "More Jesus, More"I said. (Not for my benefit) Then I had a picture of a cloud blowing wind. Just like in the old cartoons, when the cartoonist would depict the wind, with a drawing of a cloud, with big cheeks, puckered lips,and lines to represent the air being blown out. I stood for a few seconds,and kept seeing the picture in my minds eye. Thinking maybe I was supposed to say something to Sheila about it, I knelt down and told her. A few minutes later,when she was able, she got up and told me I had hit it on the head.
Sheila said she didn't fall down herself (I knew that) but that she felt air being blown into her!
Wow. I just stood there, I am sure mouth hanging open! Then, we got confirmation right after that. JoAnn said something about the breath of God. Then, shortly after that, yet another confirmation.I was just amazed. I hadn't gotten up from the floor yet,and after Sheila telling me I couldn't get up for a few minutes! I just laughed, thinking how I came in so discouraged,and worn out, and God used me to encourage someone else, leaving ME feeling more encouraged as well!
The whole vision thing is fairly new to me, so I am not always sure if I am seeing what I think I am. This I think is the first time that I have received confirmation!
Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to be blessed and encouraged in a way that was totally not about me! I try not to be selfish and self centered. Sometimes, with the stuff that has been going on, it's hard to see beyond this household. I am so happy that I was able to get outside of that,and do something that encouraged someone else in such a big way!
Help me to stay humble, God. I don't want it to be "Me me me" I really don't!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Candles
I wrote this late last summer/early fall . I had forgotten that I had it! I thought I would share it, in hopes that it encourages someone else.
A candle can represent several things.
The scent can mask unpleasant odors; or we burn it just for the pleasant smell. That smell can be soothing, relaxing, or serve a particular purpose. It can even provoke memories from our past.
The light from the candle from the candle can have purpose; also. It can create a romantic atmosphere, for one. It can be useful in a storm. When the electricity goes out; the candle gives light.
The light given by the candle can represent Christ.; the light in the darkness. The storm creates darkness, that darkness can be symbolic of life without Christ. We light the candle to illuminate the darkness. Once we touch the match to the wick; the darkness is pierced by that light. In the same way, Christ pierces the darkness of our lives in the midst of the storm.
Jesus is the way, the truth,and the life, and the LIGHT!
A candle can represent several things.
The scent can mask unpleasant odors; or we burn it just for the pleasant smell. That smell can be soothing, relaxing, or serve a particular purpose. It can even provoke memories from our past.
The light from the candle from the candle can have purpose; also. It can create a romantic atmosphere, for one. It can be useful in a storm. When the electricity goes out; the candle gives light.
The light given by the candle can represent Christ.; the light in the darkness. The storm creates darkness, that darkness can be symbolic of life without Christ. We light the candle to illuminate the darkness. Once we touch the match to the wick; the darkness is pierced by that light. In the same way, Christ pierces the darkness of our lives in the midst of the storm.
Jesus is the way, the truth,and the life, and the LIGHT!
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Lie That Grew (and Grew)
Annie came out front while I was mowing the yard.( I had told her earlier she could not be out front since she had left the scooter in front of the neighbor's house and it went missing for a bit. )
Thinking she was looking for an excuse to be in front,I sent her back in. A short time later, she reappeared with Rachel. I could see by their faces something was up, so I shut off the mower.
"Mom, Annie needs to tell you something." Annie whispered to Rachel that she wanted Rachel to tell me. They whispered back and forth a bit and finally Rachel said Annie was swinging on her swing, fell off and a nail poked her in the lip. I looked from Annie to Rachel, trying to discern from Rachel's face whether this could be true.
I told Annie to show me where this nail was, then told Rachel that IF I found a nail, Dad was going to have to talk to the neighbors behind us. (our neighbors have been building a shed. I found several nails near the fence,but back in an area Annie will not usually go, for fear of spiders)
I followed Annie to the back yard and we stopped at the edge of the patio."Show me where you found the nail" I said.
" Well, it was by the clothesline." she replied. I knew it likely wasn't there, but I made a show of looking anyway.
"Annie" I began"There is no way you fell off the swing and bumped your lip on a nail by the clothesline."
It was obvious to me that Annie was lying, but how to get her to admit it and see the importance of telling the truth was going to be difficult.
Trying to be patient, I began again." Annie, if I have to go talk to the neighbors about throwing nails over the fence,and find out that you lied to me, you are going to be in BIG trouble, so you had better tell me where the nail is."
Annie decided that she had thrown it in the grass. "So, If I mow the backyard, I can run over the nail,and it will get thrown up by the lawnmower,and it could hit someone's eye." Annie thought for a moment and quipped" Well, It was over by the ladder,and ..." I had to interrupt." I did not see a single nail over by your ladder. You are not telling me the truth.Now tell me the truth!"
Annie tried again."Well, I threw it away." "Oh," I said, so if I check the garbage can am I going to find it?" Annie thought for a moment."You see, it went BEHIND the Garbage can."
I told her I was going to check. "Well..." (By now, I am thinking that word has become Annie's favorite out of all the words in her vast vocabulary.)"you won't see it,because it went behind that big air thing"(the water heater)
I told her that was funny, I didn't think she could have thrown it that far. Annie tried again."Well, it went into the mouse hole" I informed her that there was no mouse hole.
By this time, Annie's responses were coming slower, I could see that she was really trying to think of something that might make her story believable.
She thought a moment more,and spoke again." You won't see it down there,because I threw it really high and it went into a mouse hole way up there."
She pointed to the rafters above the washer and dryer.
Rachel had been watching the entire time,and finally couldn't stand it anymore. Trying not to laugh, she said" That's a good one Annie!"
Annie stood for a minute,and then laughed,as if she was just kidding the whole time. She waltzed off to play, as if nothing had happened.
That is the lie that grew and grew .The only truth we could discern was that she had indeed fallen off the swingset, but apparently had decided the nail idea was a bit more of an exciting story.
Thinking she was looking for an excuse to be in front,I sent her back in. A short time later, she reappeared with Rachel. I could see by their faces something was up, so I shut off the mower.
"Mom, Annie needs to tell you something." Annie whispered to Rachel that she wanted Rachel to tell me. They whispered back and forth a bit and finally Rachel said Annie was swinging on her swing, fell off and a nail poked her in the lip. I looked from Annie to Rachel, trying to discern from Rachel's face whether this could be true.
I told Annie to show me where this nail was, then told Rachel that IF I found a nail, Dad was going to have to talk to the neighbors behind us. (our neighbors have been building a shed. I found several nails near the fence,but back in an area Annie will not usually go, for fear of spiders)
I followed Annie to the back yard and we stopped at the edge of the patio."Show me where you found the nail" I said.
" Well, it was by the clothesline." she replied. I knew it likely wasn't there, but I made a show of looking anyway.
"Annie" I began"There is no way you fell off the swing and bumped your lip on a nail by the clothesline."
It was obvious to me that Annie was lying, but how to get her to admit it and see the importance of telling the truth was going to be difficult.
Trying to be patient, I began again." Annie, if I have to go talk to the neighbors about throwing nails over the fence,and find out that you lied to me, you are going to be in BIG trouble, so you had better tell me where the nail is."
Annie decided that she had thrown it in the grass. "So, If I mow the backyard, I can run over the nail,and it will get thrown up by the lawnmower,and it could hit someone's eye." Annie thought for a moment and quipped" Well, It was over by the ladder,and ..." I had to interrupt." I did not see a single nail over by your ladder. You are not telling me the truth.Now tell me the truth!"
Annie tried again."Well, I threw it away." "Oh," I said, so if I check the garbage can am I going to find it?" Annie thought for a moment."You see, it went BEHIND the Garbage can."
I told her I was going to check. "Well..." (By now, I am thinking that word has become Annie's favorite out of all the words in her vast vocabulary.)"you won't see it,because it went behind that big air thing"(the water heater)
I told her that was funny, I didn't think she could have thrown it that far. Annie tried again."Well, it went into the mouse hole" I informed her that there was no mouse hole.
By this time, Annie's responses were coming slower, I could see that she was really trying to think of something that might make her story believable.
She thought a moment more,and spoke again." You won't see it down there,because I threw it really high and it went into a mouse hole way up there."
She pointed to the rafters above the washer and dryer.
Rachel had been watching the entire time,and finally couldn't stand it anymore. Trying not to laugh, she said" That's a good one Annie!"
Annie stood for a minute,and then laughed,as if she was just kidding the whole time. She waltzed off to play, as if nothing had happened.
That is the lie that grew and grew .The only truth we could discern was that she had indeed fallen off the swingset, but apparently had decided the nail idea was a bit more of an exciting story.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The ( Could Have Been) National Lampoon Camping Trip
It all started out innocently enough. Our oldest daughter, Laura wanted to go camping for her birthday. So, plans were made to go to Little Grass Valley, her favorite place to camp.
As soon as Dick got off work, we loaded up the gear and the dog and headed up the hill. Thus began what we fully expected to be a fun family camping trip. Little did we know, it would be a weekend we would not soon forget.
As we pulled into Little Beaver; loop A was much more full than we expected, even for a July weekend. Fortunately, we found one of our favorite spots was available; so we wasted no time setting up camp.
As we did so, we noticed we had two extra children hanging around. Our neighbor’s children; (naturally curious and not naturally shy), decided to make their presence known.
Quickly realizing that they had no plans to go back to their camp, and noticing that mom had no interest in telling them to come back; I tried to politely send them on their way.
After a couple of attempts; their mother got the hint and called them back to their camp.
Thinking that was the end of that, we went on about fixing dinner and getting ready for the next day.
As darkness began to fall; we made sure to lock all our ice chests and other food items in the car, to discourage any bears from invading our camp.
Noticing that our neighbors had not put their ice chests away; Dick went over to talk to the neighbors, thinking maybe they were unaware of the bear threat.
As luck would have it, we found out they were “clampers” and this was their annual weekend gathering at Little Grass Valley. They always chose Little Beaver, and chose loop A, they told us, because that was the best campground at the resort.
“Oh, Hooray” we thought. “This is going to be an interesting weekend.” (E Clampus Vitus has a reputation for some wild partying.) We tried to think positively, but none of us was having much success.
As the conversation went on; Dick asked; “You are going to put your food away, right?”
“We know” the man replied. “But, are you going to put it away?” Dick asked again. “We know” the man answered again.
It didn’t take long to figure out that they were not going to lock up their food. All we could do was pray (literally!) and hope the bears decided not to be hungry that night.
We went to bed, unsure of whether we could or should sleep that night.
I woke up a while later to a rather unpleasant smell. “Oh, great, the bear has pooped right next to my side of the tent!” I thought.
Since I was not about to go out and look, I tried to ignore the smell and went back to sleep. A bit later; I felt a little body lying on top of me. Half asleep, I absently reached up to pat the body. I realized quickly, that it was our youngest, Chloe, and she was naked.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “ I just wanted to snuggle with you, mom.” Came the reply. I looked at the alarm clock and noted the time; 2:00 a.m. “AT two o’clock in the morning?”
“Where are your pajamas?” I asked Chloe. “I was hot, so I took them off!”
“Go get your pajamas back on and get back in bed” I ordered, suddenly wide awake..
As Chloe got up to go back to her sleeping bag, I thought maybe I should turn on the flashlight so she could see where she was going. As I did so, I suddenly realized that what I thought was the bear’s bodily waste I smelled, was not the bear after all; but Chloe.
“Don’t get back in that sleeping bag!” I exclaimed. Chloe stood there, waiting to see what she should do next.. I yelled at Dick to get up and help me. I began tossing soiled clothes and bedding out of the tent. Dick took over that job and I began trying to clean Chloe enough until I could bathe her properly.
“Do we have to go home?” she asked. “Not now, but we may have to go home tomorrow” I replied. Chloe began to cry “I didn’t mean to! I couldn’t help it!” Realizing the poor girl thought it was her fault, and that she was in trouble, I tried to reassure her that neither was the case, but that we couldn’t stay if she was sick. By this time, Laura was awake, vocalizing her opinion about her sister ruining HER birthday camping trip.
“Go back to sleep and mind your own business!” I snapped. Laura reluctantly laid back down and kept quiet. I apologized, and informed Laura that it was not her sister’s fault. Accidents happen.. We got things cleaned up as best we could and tried to go back to sleep.
A short time later, we woke again, to the neighbor’s dog and our dog’s barking and the neighbors shouting. The bear had decided to visit and their dog had treed the bear. The girls wanted to see. Dick firmly told the girls to stay put.. We waited, hoping the neighbors would call off their dog, the bear would leave, and we could go back to sleep.
It was not to be. The two men in the camp decided to stay up, since quiet time ended in only two more hours. Suffice it to say they were NOT quiet, and I think I even yelled at them that people were trying to SLEEP! Obviously, it was a wasted effort.
We did finally manage to get an hour or two of sleep. Chloe informed us after the short sleep we all had that she was just fine, could we please stay one more night?
Since there had been no other incidents that could be mistaken for the bear, we agreed that we could stay another night. Fortunately, I had a plastic zipper bag from a bedspread I had recently bought. We put all the soiled items in the bag, and set it away from the tent.
In the meantime, our dog had made herself comfortable on Chloe’s egg crate foam. After wrestling with the dog; I managed to get her off of it and haul it to the dumpster. I could feel the pitiful brown eyes following me to the dumpster. I could imagine what Callie’s opinion of me was at that moment.
(later, both the dog and Chloe got a bath in the lake!)
The plan for the day, as per Laura’s request was fishing, and then Italian Sausages and roasted bell peppers for dinner, to be followed by opening presents, easy enough. ( or so I thought) We packed up our lunch, scratched the dog goodbye and headed out for a day of fishing on the lake, putting the events of the night and early morning behind us.
After a successful fishing expedition, we returned to camp, our mouths watering at the thought of sausage and peppers for dinner.
Dick offered to start the camp stove and barbeque for me, but where were the matches?
I informed him that they were right next to the camp stove, where we usually kept them. I walked over to show him. The matches were not there. Dick happened to look down, and pointed. Every match in the box (it had been full to start) had been lit and thrown on the ground. Dick voiced the thought that maybe our girls had been playing with the matches. I reminded him that we had been gone all day, so that was not possible.
Reluctantly, Dick asked our neighbor woman if we could borrow some matches. Her children followed us back and informed us that they had lit our matches, and tried to light our stove.
I could not believe what I was hearing. “We took your dog for a walk, too!” the little girl informed me. “And, we fed her some hot dogs! “the girl’s brother chimed in. “You shouldn’t have done that” I scolded. I looked at their mother, hoping for some input, but she had her nose in a book and was obviously unconcerned.
When the children asked why they should not have done that, I tried maintain my calm and explain that the dog could have bit someone, and we would have been in trouble. “But she is a nice dog!” they added, as if I was being told something new. “It doesn’t matter, she is NOT your dog, you should NEVER take someone else’ dog for a walk without asking! You also should not play with matches, you could have been hurt!” “Oh,” was all they said, obviously not getting the point I was trying to make.
Frustrated with the children and their mother’s lack of guidance, I tried to remain calm.
I told them they needed to go back to their camp, that we were going to be eating. “Oh, what are you having for dinner?” the children asked. “Sausage and peppers” I grumbled. “Can we eat with you? “ “NO!” Laura exclaimed, before I could get the words out.
She had been quiet for the most part, but she had taken all she could. “NO, you can’t, and you need to go back to your camp!” Laura shouted at them.
I tried to smooth things over a bit, but the two children did not understand. I finally had to firmly tell them that it was not okay to play with matches. It was not okay to take a strange dog for a walk, and it was not polite to ask if you could eat dinner with someone, now please go back to your camp.
Mom must have gotten the hint, finally, because she timidly told them to come back.
We ate dinner in peace, and after dinner, Laura was able to open her presents. I could feel the eyes of the two children next door watching Laura as she opened her gifts. I felt a twinge of sympathy for them. They were obviously lonely and needed a mother’s attention.
That evening, Dick went next door again, to inquire if the neighbors were going to put their food away. “Yeah, we just wanted to give our kids some excitement” was their reply. Dick couldn’t resist “Well, you did. Your dog treed the bear on the side of the tent that your kids were sleeping on!” “ What would you have done if the bear fell out of the tree?” No reply. Dick continued on “You gave your kids some excitement, alright, along with everyone else!”
“Yeah, guess we should lock up our food tonight” they finally managed. Satisfied, we began to get ready for bed.
Everyone went to bed, and if the bear came through, either everyone was too tired (including the dogs) to notice, or the bear couldn’t find anything worthwhile to stick around for.
So the camping trip ended, but Laura made it clear that not only did she never want to go camping for her birthday again; she especially never wanted to camp at Little Grass Valley for her birthday again.
We did find out later that the camp had decided to move the “Clampers” to another campground farther down the road from then on. Little Beaver is too popular and there had been too many complaints from other campers. Still, even that could not convince Laura to go to Little Grass Valley on or near her birthday from then on.
Thus ended the camping expedition that (could have been) something from National Lampoon’s vacation.
As I said, some names have been changed, mainly to protect ME from the wrath of my children and any perceived humiliation on their part.
As soon as Dick got off work, we loaded up the gear and the dog and headed up the hill. Thus began what we fully expected to be a fun family camping trip. Little did we know, it would be a weekend we would not soon forget.
As we pulled into Little Beaver; loop A was much more full than we expected, even for a July weekend. Fortunately, we found one of our favorite spots was available; so we wasted no time setting up camp.
As we did so, we noticed we had two extra children hanging around. Our neighbor’s children; (naturally curious and not naturally shy), decided to make their presence known.
Quickly realizing that they had no plans to go back to their camp, and noticing that mom had no interest in telling them to come back; I tried to politely send them on their way.
After a couple of attempts; their mother got the hint and called them back to their camp.
Thinking that was the end of that, we went on about fixing dinner and getting ready for the next day.
As darkness began to fall; we made sure to lock all our ice chests and other food items in the car, to discourage any bears from invading our camp.
Noticing that our neighbors had not put their ice chests away; Dick went over to talk to the neighbors, thinking maybe they were unaware of the bear threat.
As luck would have it, we found out they were “clampers” and this was their annual weekend gathering at Little Grass Valley. They always chose Little Beaver, and chose loop A, they told us, because that was the best campground at the resort.
“Oh, Hooray” we thought. “This is going to be an interesting weekend.” (E Clampus Vitus has a reputation for some wild partying.) We tried to think positively, but none of us was having much success.
As the conversation went on; Dick asked; “You are going to put your food away, right?”
“We know” the man replied. “But, are you going to put it away?” Dick asked again. “We know” the man answered again.
It didn’t take long to figure out that they were not going to lock up their food. All we could do was pray (literally!) and hope the bears decided not to be hungry that night.
We went to bed, unsure of whether we could or should sleep that night.
I woke up a while later to a rather unpleasant smell. “Oh, great, the bear has pooped right next to my side of the tent!” I thought.
Since I was not about to go out and look, I tried to ignore the smell and went back to sleep. A bit later; I felt a little body lying on top of me. Half asleep, I absently reached up to pat the body. I realized quickly, that it was our youngest, Chloe, and she was naked.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “ I just wanted to snuggle with you, mom.” Came the reply. I looked at the alarm clock and noted the time; 2:00 a.m. “AT two o’clock in the morning?”
“Where are your pajamas?” I asked Chloe. “I was hot, so I took them off!”
“Go get your pajamas back on and get back in bed” I ordered, suddenly wide awake..
As Chloe got up to go back to her sleeping bag, I thought maybe I should turn on the flashlight so she could see where she was going. As I did so, I suddenly realized that what I thought was the bear’s bodily waste I smelled, was not the bear after all; but Chloe.
“Don’t get back in that sleeping bag!” I exclaimed. Chloe stood there, waiting to see what she should do next.. I yelled at Dick to get up and help me. I began tossing soiled clothes and bedding out of the tent. Dick took over that job and I began trying to clean Chloe enough until I could bathe her properly.
“Do we have to go home?” she asked. “Not now, but we may have to go home tomorrow” I replied. Chloe began to cry “I didn’t mean to! I couldn’t help it!” Realizing the poor girl thought it was her fault, and that she was in trouble, I tried to reassure her that neither was the case, but that we couldn’t stay if she was sick. By this time, Laura was awake, vocalizing her opinion about her sister ruining HER birthday camping trip.
“Go back to sleep and mind your own business!” I snapped. Laura reluctantly laid back down and kept quiet. I apologized, and informed Laura that it was not her sister’s fault. Accidents happen.. We got things cleaned up as best we could and tried to go back to sleep.
A short time later, we woke again, to the neighbor’s dog and our dog’s barking and the neighbors shouting. The bear had decided to visit and their dog had treed the bear. The girls wanted to see. Dick firmly told the girls to stay put.. We waited, hoping the neighbors would call off their dog, the bear would leave, and we could go back to sleep.
It was not to be. The two men in the camp decided to stay up, since quiet time ended in only two more hours. Suffice it to say they were NOT quiet, and I think I even yelled at them that people were trying to SLEEP! Obviously, it was a wasted effort.
We did finally manage to get an hour or two of sleep. Chloe informed us after the short sleep we all had that she was just fine, could we please stay one more night?
Since there had been no other incidents that could be mistaken for the bear, we agreed that we could stay another night. Fortunately, I had a plastic zipper bag from a bedspread I had recently bought. We put all the soiled items in the bag, and set it away from the tent.
In the meantime, our dog had made herself comfortable on Chloe’s egg crate foam. After wrestling with the dog; I managed to get her off of it and haul it to the dumpster. I could feel the pitiful brown eyes following me to the dumpster. I could imagine what Callie’s opinion of me was at that moment.
(later, both the dog and Chloe got a bath in the lake!)
The plan for the day, as per Laura’s request was fishing, and then Italian Sausages and roasted bell peppers for dinner, to be followed by opening presents, easy enough. ( or so I thought) We packed up our lunch, scratched the dog goodbye and headed out for a day of fishing on the lake, putting the events of the night and early morning behind us.
After a successful fishing expedition, we returned to camp, our mouths watering at the thought of sausage and peppers for dinner.
Dick offered to start the camp stove and barbeque for me, but where were the matches?
I informed him that they were right next to the camp stove, where we usually kept them. I walked over to show him. The matches were not there. Dick happened to look down, and pointed. Every match in the box (it had been full to start) had been lit and thrown on the ground. Dick voiced the thought that maybe our girls had been playing with the matches. I reminded him that we had been gone all day, so that was not possible.
Reluctantly, Dick asked our neighbor woman if we could borrow some matches. Her children followed us back and informed us that they had lit our matches, and tried to light our stove.
I could not believe what I was hearing. “We took your dog for a walk, too!” the little girl informed me. “And, we fed her some hot dogs! “the girl’s brother chimed in. “You shouldn’t have done that” I scolded. I looked at their mother, hoping for some input, but she had her nose in a book and was obviously unconcerned.
When the children asked why they should not have done that, I tried maintain my calm and explain that the dog could have bit someone, and we would have been in trouble. “But she is a nice dog!” they added, as if I was being told something new. “It doesn’t matter, she is NOT your dog, you should NEVER take someone else’ dog for a walk without asking! You also should not play with matches, you could have been hurt!” “Oh,” was all they said, obviously not getting the point I was trying to make.
Frustrated with the children and their mother’s lack of guidance, I tried to remain calm.
I told them they needed to go back to their camp, that we were going to be eating. “Oh, what are you having for dinner?” the children asked. “Sausage and peppers” I grumbled. “Can we eat with you? “ “NO!” Laura exclaimed, before I could get the words out.
She had been quiet for the most part, but she had taken all she could. “NO, you can’t, and you need to go back to your camp!” Laura shouted at them.
I tried to smooth things over a bit, but the two children did not understand. I finally had to firmly tell them that it was not okay to play with matches. It was not okay to take a strange dog for a walk, and it was not polite to ask if you could eat dinner with someone, now please go back to your camp.
Mom must have gotten the hint, finally, because she timidly told them to come back.
We ate dinner in peace, and after dinner, Laura was able to open her presents. I could feel the eyes of the two children next door watching Laura as she opened her gifts. I felt a twinge of sympathy for them. They were obviously lonely and needed a mother’s attention.
That evening, Dick went next door again, to inquire if the neighbors were going to put their food away. “Yeah, we just wanted to give our kids some excitement” was their reply. Dick couldn’t resist “Well, you did. Your dog treed the bear on the side of the tent that your kids were sleeping on!” “ What would you have done if the bear fell out of the tree?” No reply. Dick continued on “You gave your kids some excitement, alright, along with everyone else!”
“Yeah, guess we should lock up our food tonight” they finally managed. Satisfied, we began to get ready for bed.
Everyone went to bed, and if the bear came through, either everyone was too tired (including the dogs) to notice, or the bear couldn’t find anything worthwhile to stick around for.
So the camping trip ended, but Laura made it clear that not only did she never want to go camping for her birthday again; she especially never wanted to camp at Little Grass Valley for her birthday again.
We did find out later that the camp had decided to move the “Clampers” to another campground farther down the road from then on. Little Beaver is too popular and there had been too many complaints from other campers. Still, even that could not convince Laura to go to Little Grass Valley on or near her birthday from then on.
Thus ended the camping expedition that (could have been) something from National Lampoon’s vacation.
As I said, some names have been changed, mainly to protect ME from the wrath of my children and any perceived humiliation on their part.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Food for thought
Earlier this month, Rachel was able to go to the School of Healing at Bethel in Redding. (lucky girl!) She shared something with me that really made me think, so I thought I would share it with you.
Some of you know(and some of you have been or are yourselves) we did foster care for awhile.
Oftentimes, foster children will stuff more food in their mouths than they can eat, looking like a chipmunk. Sometimes they will take the food from the table and run off with it, worried that that is all they will get. Other times,they will sneak food into their rooms,hide it under the bed, etc.
As a foster parent, we just have to reassure them they will be able to eat when they want,and there will be enough. It sometimes takes awhile,but they usually figure it out after a bit.
One of the speakers was (is) himself a foster parent. He used the above as an analogy. He shared that often times; we are like that with God. God gives us something,and we will take it, run with it, afraid there won't be a "next time", or enough. We also sometimes hide it, afraid we won't get anything else.
What we need to realize is that God's gifts are always there for us. God will always make sure there is enough,if we will just stop hoarding it, or try to use it as quickly as possible, afraid there isn't going to be anymore. We are often like some of those foster children who didn't get enough to eat in their homes,and have a hard time understanding that there IS enough in this home, and there will ALWAYS be enough.
For me;this was a big eye opener. I had honestly never thought about God's gifts in that perspective. Now, I just have to remember there IS enough, WILL be enough,and I don't have to hoard the gift, or stuff it in my mouth, afraid that I won't get anything else.
Wow! It is something I am going to work on!
Some of you know(and some of you have been or are yourselves) we did foster care for awhile.
Oftentimes, foster children will stuff more food in their mouths than they can eat, looking like a chipmunk. Sometimes they will take the food from the table and run off with it, worried that that is all they will get. Other times,they will sneak food into their rooms,hide it under the bed, etc.
As a foster parent, we just have to reassure them they will be able to eat when they want,and there will be enough. It sometimes takes awhile,but they usually figure it out after a bit.
One of the speakers was (is) himself a foster parent. He used the above as an analogy. He shared that often times; we are like that with God. God gives us something,and we will take it, run with it, afraid there won't be a "next time", or enough. We also sometimes hide it, afraid we won't get anything else.
What we need to realize is that God's gifts are always there for us. God will always make sure there is enough,if we will just stop hoarding it, or try to use it as quickly as possible, afraid there isn't going to be anymore. We are often like some of those foster children who didn't get enough to eat in their homes,and have a hard time understanding that there IS enough in this home, and there will ALWAYS be enough.
For me;this was a big eye opener. I had honestly never thought about God's gifts in that perspective. Now, I just have to remember there IS enough, WILL be enough,and I don't have to hoard the gift, or stuff it in my mouth, afraid that I won't get anything else.
Wow! It is something I am going to work on!
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